Paul it was actually recommended that we do couples therapy through the vet center near us so that we can both receive help for his ptsd. Secondary PTSD is something I've heard of, don't know much about it, but spouses/loved ones can get it. Anyway, I hope you guys were able to work it out through the VA! They're really great with helping veterans and their families get the help that they need for this mental stuff. It's very comforting.