It makes sense to me that this incident sticks in your head....you tried to get help to deal with what was happening. Your mom, who is supposed to protect you, didn't, and in fact made you feel like you had done wrong. I had something similar happen when I tried to tell and it still haunts me, having my mother choose not to protect me.

I know where you're coming from with the self-harm, too. I am trying really hard to let that bit of old coping go. I find that when I am cutting, I am able to avoid the feelings altogether. And the only way to get over this PTSD is to feel the feelings, all the way.

Hang in there.