Veiled, maybe your putting a little too much expectation upon yourself, in that you may think that therapy is going to speed up your recovery beyond your minds and bodies control. Don't pressure yourself for recovery, just work at it as your mind and body allow you. Don't rush it. Your doing a great job with yourself from what your writing here...

PTSD diagnosis is not about how you feel right at this moment, or at the moment when you are filling out evalutions and discussions. PTSD is about the "worst" you get a symptom, and not actually the "now" moment that your living. If your symptoms at your "worst" moment are all high, then that is what they look at for diagnosis, not how you feel right now.

To put it to you another way, I will use myself as an example. I suffer very little of any symptoms on any given day. Maybe once a month, some depression might try and creep up on me, or if I place myself within a crowed shopping center without any mental preparation, then anxiety and panic will set in for a short duration until I am clear, and can calm myself down. So, because I don't have constant symptoms now, does that mean I no longer have PTSD? Not a chance. If something happened within my life to cause significant distress now, or undue pressure, I would fall down and most symptoms would return just as bad as I have ever had them, being all severe ratings.

This is the difference in mental attitude towards your illness. Its ok to feel good again. Because you have an illness that has no cure, it doesn't mean you have to suffer it daily, or at its worst constantly. Its acceptable to control it within normal life expectations, but the illness and all the symptoms are still present, except you are just learning how to control them. If your husband or child died, I think just from reading that short statement, your mind is already ticking over to what would once again be the worst of your symptoms. But you know how to control them, so you could, if you desired, get them under control again quicker than what it first takes during the education and learning process off what works for you.

The anger... now this is something your struggling with by the sounds of it. Here is a big tip for you. Anger is not an emotion... so what does that mean? It means that your statements about bottling other little things up until you explode, is what is causing your anger. If you are thinking about one small thing, or one small thing upsets you, at that point, you are able to discuss it, or atleast get your opinion out about it, thus it is no longer a small issue that is burdening you. If you have lots of these small issues, all of which come with there own emotions attached, all come together and release as anger, being the consequence of all those smaller emotions. If you tell your child to not do something, and they do it anyway, is that anger or you feel hurt, disoboyed, etc etc. You don't actually feel angry, you are angry because of what you felt within an issue. See the difference? Identify with the smaller issues, and resolve them as they appear, thus nothing is left to boil and join forces, to create anger.