Hi Witsend,

Uncommunicative buggers aren't they? If you can get them to talk you have to pick the right moment, the only trouble is that you can never quite guess when the right moment is. Not to mention the fact that you don't want to spoil what good moments you have together by talking about things which are likely to lead to an argument. I empathise with your frustration as I feel that with Anthony on a regular basis. I just run the gauntlet sometimes and hope the aftermath is not going to be too bad. You just have to be able to talk about somethings in a relationship and often you can't with someone suffering from PTSD. I have often made myself physically sick worrying about something that I should be able to talk with Anthony about but I got that way that I wouldn't say anything. This walking on eggshells is just bs. I sincerely wish that they could walk a mile in our shoes for a day. It feels to me often that I am carrying the burden of a relationship and dealing with a child at the same time. It certainly doesn't feel like a partnership.

As for us two getting through things, it is a daily struggle for both of us. I can't speak for Anthony but I find it difficult to trust him with the deeper levels of me. There has been quite a lot of hurt over the period of 4 years and everytime I have given him another opportunity he manages to stomp all over it. I am not keen to keep getting stomped on. So we go through the motions of a relationship but it has only ever felt (on two occasions) what I imagine a functional, adult relationship would be like. It remains to be seen where to for us. Although we are trying to work through some stuff now and I remain optomistic.