I swore I would never sell myself for food or money. Do you know how hard it is when you won't? People will give you Drugs, Alcohol and Cigs, but food, hell no, you can go for days without food. I used to dream of a can of corn to mix with a can of pineapple. Sounds wierd but that was always my craving. I would stay up for hours on end, never safe to sleep. I was a rabbit and the world was full of owls and hawks. I was prey. I did not know that social services would help me, remember I was raised sheltered. I did not know that I could go to a homeless shelter. I just had to keep moving. Keep going. From California to New York. From Canada to Mexico. I had to have hitchhiked 100,000 miles. No, I am not kidding. Yes, I am serious. What did I focus on, trying to find a meal, trying to find a ride, trying to not get killed. Or was I trying to commit suicide out there, but was too chicken shit. Or maybe it was my Catholic roots, you cannot kill yourself, so put your ass out on a road day and night and eventually you will take the wrong ride and wind up in a ditch. Well, they tried. I fought for my life, so if I am trying to commit suicide on the road, why fight for my life so hard. Perplexing.