Perhaps I need to cut to the chase, quit the bullsh*t and just vommit. I feel so refreshed right now from the rest and arduous crying I was able to do in treatment that I am almost afraid to discuss my stuff again.

How was I vicitomized?

My daddy started touching me in my private area when I was three. I was not old enough to know that the gentle touch he was giving me was bad. I did not know this until I was about five and my mom told me good girls do not let anyone touch their private area. She said I was a strong sexed little thing. When I acted out by masterbating she would spank me with a switch inbetween my legs. I have always remembered this and even though my intellectual brain knows I was not the fault, I still feel great pain and shame. However, perhaps I am doing some healing as I do not feel like going and cutting on myself. I will write more later.