I knew what a penus looked and felt like at a very early age. I tried to forget. My brothers and my dad came in my room naked, they would bathe and not shut the door to the bathroom. I refuse to feel sorry for myself, or pity myself. I want validation so bad I can't stand it. Its embarrassing! My momma still says she did nothing wrong, though the other day she did almost acknowledge that the sexual abuse happened. How was I victimized? The question should be is there any way I was not violated or victimized??!!! I feel so stupid and pathetic for saying that. Because so much of these memories came to me in my 30's, with exception to mom spanking my privates, dad touching me softly and my half brother being disgusting, maybe I'm just a sick freak and all these flash things I night fright about and vommit in my brain about are all just a sick trick of my imagination. I'm done for now.