I think the PTSD will always be with me, but hopefully in a weakened form.

I have great hope that eventually I will sleep through the night, that I will stop having flashbacks, that I will stop the related self-harm. I want to hope that I will eventually become a generally less anxious person.

But the hypervigilance and startling are so ingrained in me, I don't think they'll ever be gone. They spent too many years being programmed.