Hey Alan,
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I'm not the guy pre the trauma. I can't do things I used to do easily ..play music/ performance..couldn't stand in front of people for the life of me..would fall apart. There's some part of my trauma that has robbed that from me...I want it back one day..my confidence ,strength and understanding.
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The rest of us aren't the same either. We will never be back to the person "pre trauma". The nice thing is, some of us actually like ourselves "post trauma" better. I know it's hard to believe, but there are positives. They just come with a lot of recovery.
I too, love to sing/perform, has my husband (plays guitar). You just made me realize that I haven't been on stage since my ptsd started. But I really think I could do it now, in fact, that would be exciting! I believe that you can have your confidence, strength, and understanding back. It may come back in a deeper sense or in a different form. I know that I am stronger now then before the trauma. I don't have as much confidence, but I still believe that it will return. Understanding? Now that is loaded. Understanding yourself, or others? or both? I certainly understand my illness and myself much, much better then before. And a part of me understands other people better too, but I have a much lower tolerance for ignorant and uncompassionate people.
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Thanks Anthony and you other folks for welcoming me so warmly. Means a lot to me.
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That tells me that you have at least an inkling of emotions! So, technically, you're not emotionally dead. Isn't that nice to know?
I hope the very best for you. I know it's hard to see the light, but you will see it soon. Sometimes the light fades and returns, but believe us, that there is light there.