okay I did it
I don't mind talking about it but not about "that"
I cannot talk about "that". I believe, because hope is all I have that "that" is alive. My lawyer ask me a few weeks ago why I think that "that" is alive and I really wasn't even in shock because that possibility doesn't even come to my mind. I know that day was the last day anyone has seen "it" alive, but that she is really dead is something I just ignore as a possibility.
Note the "she" :smile:
We Beata and I don't talk about "it" we know and she keeps my hopes up but knows I'll go insane talking about "that"
Please don't force me because you think otherwise Beata and I follow our own course and I am sometimes leading sometimes following but she let me decide what to talk about and when. I need that control, because being powerless and having no control is part of ptsd.
I talk about the outcome, the ptsd, the daily ordeals and the trials, how to cope, how to stay alive.