talking about traumas, making a list, well this above was just 3-4 months of my life; you don't want to know the rest
I can only say this that they did this to me 40 years ago for the first time.
The mother and child have never seen each other again.
My life was a hell. Child abuse, hospitalisation, nobody listened until I was 13, I was rescued, I started my life, went to school, lived by myself, started my education in medicine at the university. I have been alone ever since it happened, no family, nothing, alive and then suddenly I couldn't read anymore. Needless to say that I suffered from ptsd all my life and when I was in my twenties I reach out for help. This was used 25 years later by the government to pronounce me insane and the fact that they did it once before was their justification, and why they took her away soon after birth. The government didn't know that after 15 years of lawsuits they apologized to me for what had happened. They said, "this will never happen again". I found out that the neighbour had planned this from the day I told her I was pregnant. We didn't stand a change from day one. We were doomed and convicted before she was even born for something we never did. We were happy.
Beata helped me I was diagnosed with depression then. I was cured and stayed with her for 4 years but as a physician I work 120 hours a week and I couldn't find the time.
I met her again when I was in my thirties to coach me with my problems at work, my co-workers, the usual ptsd remaining symptoms. Not fitting in, never had a mother never had family never learned to attach to somebody.
10 years later in my forty’s I called her and told her what happened and that they used my therapy sessions with her 25 years ago as prove that I was insane and a future murderer. I was convicted.
Beata helps me every day. I called her relentlessly every other hour, than a few times each day, then daily. We now speak once a week, that is a regular appointment but I call her whenever I need her and that is several times a week.
Night and day. She is retired but stands by me. Only she, there is nobody left. I am alone and alive. I started therapy with her successor once a week but I am not allowed to call him and he doesn't really help me at all with nothing.
Oh and maus, my cat that survived, she is 17 that is 99 years old? She is dement and deaf and becoming blind. She started screaming from that day on and hasn’t stopped. Traumatized I guess. We lost everything that day and she lost her brother my tomcat, she was with him for 15 years. He was poisoned.
I live in an apartment building. I don't leave the house unless I must. I scream, have explosions of anger, can't sleep, etc.
Now 3 years later I am worse off than I was ever before. Since I fled I am a little less afraid, I haven't been arrested anymore although the police and justice department were here again last week but they left without doing much harm (? understatement). I can sleep a little since one year; I can walk and speak again. I lost 20 kg. I am now 48 and can be blown away. The physical pain is almost gone beside the muscle spasms.