everybody wanted me to shut the hell up
I finally agreed to try; they gave me 1 pill I can't remember (alprazolam? 5 mg)
I had an awful headache for 3 or 5 days, couldn't move
I think after that ordeal they prescribed diazepam 5 mg but I wouldn't touch it. Once I finally did I collapsed within 20-30 minutes or so they had to literally drag me away.
Then some moron told me Zyprexa was used as a mood stabiliser, they tried to sell that to me before. I am not stupid but so helpless and in total panic I accepted. 5,10,15,20 mg I think finally for a few weeks (?) It did absolutely nothing for my rage and mood swings, I was in a cloud all the time, zombie like, but functioning. I quit. Oh and I ate and ate and gained weight you wouldn't believe.
I was given benzo's, oxa up to 80 mg, I used wine with it, which helped, I was so tired I could finally sit down, was a super zombie. I used something else also; I can't remember also a benzo. I quit after a few weeks.
I am now on wine that helps with cigarettes and coffee. The coffee however is driving me nuts lately, and the wine can cause the opposite effect of sedation in to large quantities (don't we know that).
The cigarettes are something quite common in ptsd, as it relaxes, it does did also in some other psychiatric disorders. So there is probably something useful but not known what exactly. (Maybe an idea for a new thread? Pro's and con's of cigarettes in ptsd, science and effective substance).
I am thinking of meds for my outburst of anger, my yelling and screaming. It's wearing me down. I am thinking of propanolol (but I have asthma, but I have meds for that :-) and prozac, maybe a low doses of trazodon as a sleep medication (non addictive).
I am opposed to meds, but if I can't handle it anymore these are my choices I will discuss with a psychiatrist.
Since I have been on this forum I postponed my request for a medication consultation ;-)