Do wish things came easier, or that life was easier. If I had my way, there would be no TV, no electronics, (except for a secret private comp. of my own), there would be little to no furniture, belong., clutter of any kind, no mail solicitations ect., no knowledge of any phone # for anyone to call.......

......Our family could live, with just enough food, with love and interest in each other, and maybe some educ. material, and nothing else other than the very basics.

It would be easier to clean, far easier to live, priorities and values would shift and become evident, and life would be not so darn' overwhelming.

FEELING OVERWHELMED RIGHT NOW ! ...yesterday was surprisingly mostly a breeze, much joy, some pain, so forth, but few worrisome PTSD symptoms.

Today, I woke with Anxiety, and experienced and could see my panic escalating. Can feel it in my chest, in my shakes, in my jumpiness, in the anger just below my surface and in fear and knowledge, that I could snap easily today. I contribute all this to recent triggers in the news, movies, people ect.

Did do a chunk of sharing the other day, but it didn't really hit the following day, and this surprised me much. Yesterday, I felt so positive, and for a period felt so much like a success.

Today I'm going to want to hold onto that positive attitude despite my symptoms, despite the work load in front of me, despite myself and how my mind is trained to continuously fall into faulty thinking traps and rip myself off. Will be searching today for ways, to just simply be good to myself, and those around me, to ease the stress, to pitch in, encourage and help keep down my husb.'s stress, too, the best I can.

And, none of this comes easy for the time being, nor do I suspect I'm alone in just plain feeling alone, in my work and responsib., right now and very much overwhelmed. ......And, now a little less so, now that I shared this and vented some.