maus is my cat, it is german for mouse, because I didn't want a cat who's name is mouse. But she looked like one when I find her. A tail so thin like that of a mouse, grey and very malnourished she weigh 1 kg then.
later I called her princess when she was healthy again and beautiful. Art Spiegelman is german. Or of german descent. Spiegelman is german for mirrorman.

Anger: my outburst scares people and myself. I don't recognize myself. My eyes almost pop out and my bloodpressure gets so high it's almost I am on fire. Red and hot. I was afraid I would get an attack (heart or brain). I started to take pills to prevent a heart attack so scared was I for the consequences. A complete maniac. My vocal cords are damaged because of the screaming. Sometimes they give way and can't produce any sound anymore. I threw it all out because I also thought it was better then to stuff it. That would eat me from inside. But I got to a point last week that I wanted to take meds to stop these attacks because they were endless and exhausting me. The more tension I get the more it happens. I try to keep my mind occupied and distracted so it doesn't know for a while what happened and therefore leaving me alone. But if I get up and walk towards the kitchen for instance then my mind has nothing to do and in those few steps another outburst occurs. It goes on and on. But still I think it is getting better. I saw somewhere in my diary that at one time I had those attacks for 18 hours in a row.

yes a survivor of everything also cancer. I was declared cured after 5 years or so. It didn't come back. The last control was 3 years ago I think.
I was lucky it wasn't all over the place yet.
To have it at the same time: almost if our resistance is low and our immune system not optimal that everything that can go wrong also will.
To beat an illness it is advisable to be in excellent health prior to the onset :-)
You know murphy's law?
I don't freak out of deja vues but I don't have that anymore. I lost most of my abilities...
I must sleep rest will follow