Moey,

You talk about suicide a lot, and its a word used a little loosely IMHO from us all at times. We have thoughts of it, but 99% will never see it through, as we discuss it because we want help and support, and I think that is what your trying to accomplish here. There is no need really to use suicide, as we are here to just support you Moey, and try and help you if you want help. We cannot jump through the computer screens and make everything better, we cannot put false hopes upon you and tell you everything will be ok, but we can be honest to you in regard to responses.

Lets face facts here shall we... PTSD and work suck. They just don't go together well at all, regardless how well you think it goes, you always end up with more issues than someone without PTSD, and generally unbeknown to your work colleagues, the stress we suffer at the end of the day can be quite overwhelming. Then on the other end of the scale, for some, if your not working, you have no income at all, and with no income everything falls down around you, thus making PTSD much much worse, then suicide does become a very serious issue.

I had suicidal thoughts for 3 straight years, so I know what your saying, but I don't use the word loosely, because suicide is a serious thought, one that must be met with professional help. Nobody here can help with suicidal tendancies Moey, as its not within the scope of normal support, instead you are now requiring professional advice and if the thoughts are not diminishing even with medication, then possible hospitalization to help you get past some of the worst of what PTSD has to offer.

Please get yourself some professional help now if your suicidal thoughts are not diminishing or you can not control them much longer.