During an "episode"...
There is nothing except the current raging thought going through my head.
Whatever 'caused my "flip-out" is the only thing that I see.

It's like I've been holding everything in...
and when it comes out... there is no clear thinking.

I say hurtful things, I break things, and I'm most famous for my throwing skills!
(once... I took a freshly baked pan of brownies... and started flinging handfulls of it all over the kitchen)

Everyone thought I was crazy.
At the time I didn't couldn't even think about the fact that I had just spent 30 min making the damn thing.
Plus the fact that I was going to have to clean up the mess.

The regret doesn't usually hit till after :(
And after I do any of those things listed above...
I feel embarressed and like sh*t after.

The feeling of "maybe I shouldn't of done that..."
usually only shows itself after the damage has been done.


It's very frustrating!

Hope this helps.... eek!