Yes, PTSD'd off, I do know I resent all of the attention he's giving my daughter (who is 15, same age I was when things were bad). Also, he's sort of over-capable and somewhat hyperactive, so I have many, many feelings of inadequacy with him - which were also present during growing up with the stepfather. Lots of parallels, along with his own baggage, which is plenty.

He is horribly hurt that I am reacting this way, but so far I have found very few ways to cope living together in this little house. But the kids are so important to both of us, that neither one of us are willing to go anywhere.

I think I will have to medicate with some anti-anxiety drugs for at least this critical stage. I have had thoughts of harming myself several times over the last few months, so think this toughing it out part will have to stop for now so I can accomplish some healing.

Thanks for your post. It's very gratifying to have anyone respond to my posts. I feel very alone, like so many in this forum and find my situation just too weird and hard to explain to most other people. Even my husband can't really listen to it all through the pain he is experiencing and I don't have any other friends. I have managed to drive everyone away over the years. My husband just happened to be the last on the list. I hope I can turn things around. Thank you for listening.