Warren, thank you for that idea!
I couldn't imagine how hard it would be for my partner to get close enough to hug me during a "rage".

What my partner has started doing...
is remaining completely calm while I'm freaking.
As soon as the sh*t starts hitting the fan (not literally of course, lol)
He sits down/stands there and watches me, not reacting to my "outburst"
Just let's me blow up

Sometimes this works... and I calm myself down before it anything gets broken/said/thrown.
Maybe it's the fact that I can't get a reaction from him... I don't know...

Even when this doesn't calm me... he doesn't react when I do something erratic
(ex: punch the wall, dump the contents of my purse on the floor, etc.)
He doesn't ask me what the hell I'm doing, or tell me to stop.
He just sits there and waits till the storm has passed.

And after I've settled... he always comes up and hugs me.
My shaking body literally holds onto him for support.

All I know.. is the amount of freak-outs has definatly decreased...
due to this forum? my partner? me? I don't know...
but somethings working