I am not giving up, I really want to be happy and healthy again. This incident happened when I was 24 and single. In the military away from family. I did not have negative thoughts at the time and did not want to talk about it. If I wanted to talk to anyone I could not. My Law Enforcement co workers just thought it was cool that I got to shoot someone. When I did start to have negative symptoms I kept them inside because I was supposed to be tougher than that, John Wayne doesn't cry! I got out of the military when I was 29. I met my wife and have two kids. Now that I have brought them into my hole, I really need to find a way out. I am withdrawn, distant, negative and bitter. But I am intent on getting better.

Thanks again for responding and being here.

APB