OK. I didn't realize this was going to be so hard but now that it seems like the flood gates are open my mind wants to explode.

It might be better to keep it simple.

Had a great childhood 0-10
My Dad got sick with cancer we saw a alot of things that people shoud not see, sepecially at my age and not have it explained.
Do you know what it like to at 11 years old to de told he is going to die but he lives 3 more years, BUT,,,,,,,,,in and out of hopital, bed bidden, total paralysis left side etc etc.
I helped him as his little nurse. 12-14
He died when I was 14 AND THAN WHOLE FAMILY STARTED TO ARGUE and has been together once in the last 20 years, my brothers wedding (one of the hardest days ever) The one that I grew up in, baptised, confirmed but because my Dad was dead I could not have a wedding, looking back-bad mistake.OK back to the family started arguing.

I am talking before he was even buried. AHHH it was ao awful and i didn't understand much other that I was forbidden to talk to any of my Dads sisters ( he had 8, 5 at least that he had made me close too) I would catch holy hell if i spoke about them in any context or said that i would like to visit them, it didn't work that way on my mothers mind.

My Mom seemed to change, completely. i still went to church and my youth group leaders were a super support and without them i would not be here today. They have let me down in the past but I forgive them, they are only human.
I feel like I am going on too much and want to simplify.

OK left my sons father, worked, worked and worked, and was really doing well, bought a home at 24 after putting myself to school and living

on my own for quite a few
years.
This is hard!

i will try to return later
:walking: :dont-know