PTSD totally dictates how my life is run, and therefore the way I operate in society. It dictates if I can go out, when, where, how much I drink, what I wear, who i go with. It dictates when I go out generally, what I talk about, if I talk. It dictates the friendships I make, the distance I keep, the secrets I keep. It dictates if I work, where I work, the types of jobs I can withstand or not. It dictates personal relationships, I don't have relationships or boyfriends. I don't consider myself a part of society, let alone operating in it... I lead a double life.