It has been a while since I have been to this diary. I know it is because I am so tempted to continue to fill it with all the terrible traumas I need to let go of. I chose the title for this entry because today at Easter I saw my parents and we all had a family Easter brunch. I really love to see my parents with my girls, it makes me feel really good - almost happy. That is, until I think about how they have continually failed to support me emotionally. After the shooting happend and I forgot how to take care of myself, my parents wouldn't let me move back home. I remember when it happend vividly (unlike most event of this time), and it still fills me with dispair. Could you imagine loosing a good friend in a terrible thing like a triple shooting and going into full blown PTSD and reaching out to your own mother for help, only to have her tell you sorry, we just don't have room in our mansion for you??? Family get togethers always lead to me thinking about that and then I get really pissed and depressed and why the f*** do I still so desperately want them in our lives?!