Hi Renea,

Welcome to the forum and welcome to the journey of being a partner of someone with PTSD. It doesn't matter that your husband is not a veteran as we are not that exclusive here. In fact that was Anthony's initial aim.........to provide support for all people with PTSD, their families, partners, children, support people - whoever you may be. We have found, veteran or not (Anthony is a veteran) that the range of symptoms of PTSD is the same, some experience varying degrees of them or not at all but the symptoms are essentially the same. Same to the impact that it has on families. It is a constant battle to keep your familiy together and sane. Who really wants to walk out of years of hard work, disrupt children and break your heart at the same time? I suspect none of us! I guess its finding the balance between what are the worst aspects of living with PTSD and trying to balance that out with the good of life. I don't know about you but I'm pretty stubborn and not keen to be beaten by an illness that neither myself or my husband caused. Sure we are responsible for our crappy behaviour that sometimes adds to the chaos in our lives but we can do something about that. PTSD can also be managed to make lives more liveable for everybody. Anthony and I are in that dance and I imagine we will be for a long time to come. I love him or I wouldn't be here as it has been extremely hard and trying sometimes. You are not alone there.

Does your husband have support for him? By that I mean does he take medication, has he sought or does he get regular counselling and does he take care of himself - exercise, eat better, rest. AND always what about you? Hard with 4 children I know, I have a teenage step-son, a toddler and one on the way.....sometimes I think I am crazy! What can you do to save your family and your sanity? Encourage your husband to get some help (easier said than done I know), try and get some help for yourself and see if you can grab one of those support people to look after the kids while you have some time for you. Hard to do and women generally put themselves at the bottom of the list but you will see rewards for taking care of you. I am just starting to learn this valuable lesson. Men are very good at it, I think most of them (I do generalise and apologise to the male support people) are born with that gene, women need to learn how to do it. My husband and my teenage step-son are exceptional at caring for their needs first. The other thing that will help is chatting to us here, if you feel comfortable to do so. It helps to know that you are not alone.