Feelings/Emotions

Alone in the darkness, A shadow growes larger, as if it is getting near
I hold my breath hoping that the shadow will not notice me, if I am quiet
it gets near , my heart grows rapid, I hope that the shadow can not hear my heart beating out of my chest.
shallow breathing so as not to be noticed,
curled up in a ball, as smal as I was as a fetus I think.

Who is the shadow, so I want to know is it omminous maybe the shadow is my knight in shinning armour, I should not be afraid, but what if its a trick,
my mind plays plenty of those on me, if I let my guard down i'll get hurt that is the pattern.

I want so bad to look out at the world, like I am looking through a childs eyes.
not mine, though , mine are clouded, warped and tired they have seen to much hurt, and pain and disortaion already,

These eyes show distrust, hurt, and lonliness,
those are emotions and feelings I know to well
I wish that I could start this life over again and learn the other emotions and feelings,
love, gentle touch, hugs, pride and honesty as well as respect for me and for those I let be near me.