Warren,

Anthony was right, he used to and as a result 'we' used to get into some really nasty business. It was hurtful, mean and just plain nasty. I never really understood and I am a stubborn character so I would usually give right back what he gave to me. What fools we were. We joke now that neighbours on both sides of one house we lived in moved out to get away from the fighting. Sure we slip up sometimes now but thankfully it is almost always over before it escalates. How did we manage this? We started working on our own rubbish. I don't have PTSD but I do have childhood trauma that has impacted on me my whole life and every relationship that I have had. I think we all have stuff to a larger or lesser degree that needs work - not a one of us is perfect. I am actively working my stuff now and have been for sometime..........it has made a difference to my perception on things but it has also allowed me the personal growth and sight to just get the hell out of the way sometimes. Sometimes you are just never going to win when someone is in a PTSD tirade and for Anthony and I, the best thing that I can do is retreat. I used think that this meant defeat but in fact it is a way of getting rid of some of the heat and allowing both of you to retain some dignity. Besides we have a little one in the house now and I think that we both feel it is much more important for his mental health to try and act like responsible, albeit pissed off adults. Much more dignity and less hurt on both sides. I have also found that telling 'straight up' if he is being a pain in the ass helps - not always but then Anthony does not like bs. A lemon is a lemon whichever way you look at it. No good sugar coating anything for Anthony.