Those are some really tough questions, and not something I can accurately answer, as each situation is unique. I could say, stay and let him know your not a doormat, but then that could put you in harms way for violence, as I don't know your spouse. I could say leave and let him cool down, but then that could create a whole range of new issues as well, including divorce, something I do not really want to have on my head as I don't know you both personally, so I don't know your characters.

What I will say is this, that you need to get him to calm down, and find what is truly provoking his anger towards you. Anger is not an emotion, it is really a consequence, or action for a better term, of emotions. What is he truly feeling? Is he getting PTSD? If you suspect he is, he needs to pull his head in and get help if he wants to keep this relationship and family together. He needs to come to terms with this now, and very quickly, before things get out of hand.

If you can't get him to a counsellor or the like, tell him to come and speak with me, man to man, as chances are, if he is developing PTSD, then I can atleast give it to him straight, and in terms he might understand. Print out the symptoms of PTSD and the PTSD self test, and get him to read it with you, see if you can relate his actions to what is written, and maybe he might see daylight about the matter.

If he is developing PTSD, then you need to stick your kicking boots on, because he is going to need them, especially if he is in denial that nothing is wrong with him. Sometimes we with PTSD, or developing PTSD, need a shakeup within our lives to get us moving in a more positive direction. Seperation is not a positive direction, and often someone you love, you will watch self destruct completely, opposed to just self destruct then move past it.

Facts are, your husband admits he has PTSD, but chances are, is still really denying it, because he thinks he can handle it. Many thought they could handle it, right before they committed suicide. I know he thinks he is all big, tough, macho and so forth, being ex military, and bullet proof that nothing can harm him, or he can handle it... but the facts are, I thought that once also, and how wrong I was. I acknowledged it though before it was too late for me, I ended up dead. He needs to realise that PTSD is no game, and it does kill every day.

If your husband is the way I think he is, then softly softly is not going to work. He needs it military style, straight down the line, right between the eyes, to get him to wakeup to the issues at hand.