Hi GofJ,

Rough journey. First thing that I will say to you, one spouse to another - look after you first. Sounds selfish but it is the only way that you will feel strong enough to support your partner. Those with PTSD will admit to being selfish with their own needs, if they are honest and in order to help, you must get a little that way yourself. It takes a lot of emotional, mental and sometimes physical strength to live with the PTSD demon. I've said it here many times recently I am only just starting to learn the art of self-care. Women, to be honest, stink at it. Everyone else is first and us last. I think that partly that is our makeup and partly society conditioning. Don't get me wrong, I am not some new age feminist (and if thats your thing that is okay too!!), I love my husband and would like to see him conquer or at least live better with the PTSD demon but I live in a house dominated by men. Well, one man, one would be man (teenager), one toddler and perhaps another willy in the making (we are expecting in November) - they do not suffer any guilt issues about resting when they need it, leaving the dishes, or sitting on their butts while you clean around them. I am getting that way slowly. My point.........you can't make him better, he has to do that for him and he is the only one that can. You can support him by looking after you, support people are only human and have limits too!!

It is good that you are both receiving some counselling. I have seen and experienced the benefits of dealing with stuff earlier and head on. I have also seen the reverse. It sounds like you have been dealt a pretty rough hand lately, I hope the counselling and the support you can find here is the start of better things to come for both of you. Please take care of you and post as you need to. Either Anthony and I are usually online at least once a day.