The part that surprises me is you go a few days mad and it is a major issue. I am just guessing you are youthful as it is normal without PTSD in a relationship. And the drunk behavior is just that. If it is daily then screw it, but if not and this is serious (3 years sounds it) then counseling to learn to function through this together would be a good option. Couples counseling is needed to work through this together at the start in my opinion.