Continuing with the changing therapists theme.

Last week, I turned up for my appointment, expecting some feedback after having finally gone through the diagnostic CAPS thing I have avoided for so long. I got the feedback - I am in the better end of the "severe" section, so hooray for me....

Anyway, we chatted about that, and my feelings about it - something along the lines of "holy f###, what sort of state was I in when I first started therapy?! I feel I have come a long way since then, yet I am still classified as "severe". ???

Then came the shocker. My therapist is pregnant. Her contract is up for renewal and she and the practice have decided not to renew. My therapist wanted to schedule an "ending" session for the next week, as her contract only lasts another 10 days, but we could not find a time that worked for the both of us. She was very apologetic and I felt that she was genuinely upset and concerned for how I would deal with the news.

It did upset me, as I had finally been feeling confident enough with her to start dealing with some shitty stuff. It took me a year to get to that point. Now I have to start over with a new therapist.

I had my first session with the new therapist yesterday. Bloody hell! I think she and Anthony would get on really well, as she is a no shit, grab the bull by the horns therapist. At the same time, she was still careful not to push too hard - just hard enough to get things moving. I felt exhausted after the session and I've been feeling sick and panicky and completely swamped at times today. However, I think that is a good sign.

At the end of it, while it sucks to change therapists, I think this may be a positive for me. I guess I am lucky.