Well, my feeling is, marriage is tough enough even if both partners are working 100% at it, problems or illness notwithstanding. Yes a marriage where only one partner was healed could last, people stay together for all sorts of unhealthy reasons. But would it be a truly happy marriage? I think not. One or both partners would be fooling themselves IMHO. If I am willing to work on myself constantly and grow as a person, what kind of life would I have with a woman who was unwilling to work on herself? Not a very happy one. I think #1 is the best option if you want to be happy in the long term, and honest with each other as well.