I started reading this thread and after the topic of cancer, it seemed like every subject that the two of you discussed crossed my life at some point or to some degree. First, you talk of cancer as if it's not the beginning of the end. My Dad eventually died of the same kind of cancer that I was diagnosed with last August. the Dr's tell me that my cancer(prostate) is low volume and slow growing, but as I'm at the low age end of men normally diagnosed with this cancer(55), they say they need to get aggressive with it so that it's not the ultimate cause of my death. They say 'cure' but they told my Dad that also, and he died of bone cancer that had metastified from his prostate. The options they have offerred to me all seem to point to my loss of sexuality and they seem to be proud of the choices they offer. Maybe my pride is what is holding me back from letting my sex life go quietly into the night in the hopes that they can really cure me. Somehow, I feel more like I'm stalling the treatment because I just feel tired, not so much physically as much as mentally. I was raised by poor parents, and moved around constantly from the midwest US to the west coast. Being poor and always the new kid in school didn't do much for my social skills. I was kicked out of three high schools before the police finally said, Army or jail. I choose Army, volunteered for Vietnam, I figured if I was gonna play Army I was gonna use live ammo, and I arrived in Vietnam at 18 years, 2 weeks old. By the time I turned 21, I had killed 5 people(North Vietnamese), fallen in Love with a Vietnamese girl who committed suicide because I got transferred(I found that out when I found a way to get back to her to move her to the area that I was in), and was strung out on Heroin on my return to the states. This is a small sample of how my life has been, NOTHING has ever come my way without having to fight for it. I think my mind felt relieved when cancer was the diagnosis, and it became OK to just stop fighting and just let nature have it's inevitible way with me. The problem is, I have a 13 year old Daughter and she is the very best part of my life. I had to take her away from her Mom because she was starting to sexually molest her at 4. Prior to that, I had become a member of the Arizona Chapter of the MONGOLS Motorcycle Club. And, I was living in the middle of the newest center of the Hells Angels MC, who we had been at war with for 20 years. I put all that aside and became Mr. Mom and it's just been me and her against the world since. My problem is, I can't just die and leave her to fend for herself and I can't accept the Veterans hospitals choices of cancer treatment. Clinical trials are getting so close to a cure that I've been just waiting, hoping a cure comes along before cancer has its way with me, and I found a site on the internet that gives another option, a natural cure, getting my cells back to an alkaline base and re-oxygenating my system, they say that cancer cannot live in an oxygen rich system and that the prescription drug companies know this already and keep it secret because they can't patent the ingredients, and that sounds totally true in this capitalist based and soon to become fascist country. Anyway, you two seem to have definite views on the treatment of cancer and I was wondering if you'd be willing to share them. Also, I identified so much with your discussions because my Mom had to endure shock treatments back in the sixties because she became mentally ill. I'm also Irish-Scottish-German. My last name is Blouir which comes from the province of Alsace-Marie, and my Grandmas maiden name was Scheets or Scheetz. As for my PTSD, I've been rated 100% total and permanent disabled since 1993, 11 years of group therapy, 3 months of intensive inpatient PTSD Program, and my shrinks name was Dr. Jose Amato, one of the Veterans Hospitals leading experts on PTSD. I used to be his star test pilot for new antidepressants, and he used to ask my advice on PTSD subjects. Oh, and Maus, I think you said something about some conspiracy. Because of my outlaw motorcycle ties, I've been made aware of being the target of some sort of mind control device controled either by my government or the hells angels MC. Regardless of the consequences, I always seem to make a statement online about things I see as illegal or unseen being carried out by members of the government. The latest of which are small, almost indetectable tracking devices two of which I found underneath a Walgreens prescription label, 3/4"X1 1/4" X .010" thick, manufactured by TAGSYS a French clothing tracker company. Interesting, isn't it?
Respect,
WarHippy1%