I have also sensed some internal divisions here and felt isolated because of lack of inclusion, but not because of intentional efforts or anything like that. Of course there is the division based on how long different people have been interacting with each other here but I mean more than that. Now the parts that are common between different groups all differ but there are commonalities, similar conditions, similar problems, etc. It is here that I have tried to focus on, tried to connect to things others say and find ways to interpret them that do apply. This is difficult of course, more difficult than the other kinds of bonding here, sure, but it is equally possible. This is why I stay here, why I have not left completely.

On the trust issue I have to admit that it seems most of the talk here on that revolves around suspicion in areas related to some sort of abuse, or of being targeted and attacked. I know what happened to me was absolutely an accident, and there is not even some engineering failure I can point to either. A failure in city planning perhaps, but I know that regardless of any failure in planning or oversight there that what happened to me was also an accident. I feel isolated from most here because of that. I was not shot or made to watch people shoot each other in a war zone or anything like that. I was not abused by a trusted person or subjected to poverty and strife like so many here have been. It is just that I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and unlike most of the others over the years later I happened to live. I know there are aspects of those categories of causes and even more types that have related conditions that need to be discussed directly just as well as everything else. I just thought I would also admit that I sometimes have trouble associating with what is said in a lot of the threads here too.

I have always felt that I can relate to you though Evie. I am not sure why. We are around the same age and the terrible things happened around the same phases so maybe that is part of it. Massive physical damage and hospitalization for it too a little, at least as far as the psychological impacts. I also am afraid of so many of the things that I have read you are. I doubt that I am really capable of doing so many things but I am resolved to really test things out now and find the real limits. Your progress has helped to inspire me here. I want to tell you one thing that I do know though, one detail that I think you may have started to doubt a little. Everything will be all right Evie. Take care of yourself and everything will settle the way it can.