Dealing with nursing my "mean" out door cat. He is on life 3 or 4 of 9. People described a mean cat on here before but he sounded like child's play compared to my 6 yo one, why I am not fast to past judgment on critters. But he was severely abused when I got him at 1 and had major surgery, a couple actually as his side exploded from infection when I saw it I "stole" him as my heart broke so just took him and the owners cared less. I think he has chronic pain as he was not mean before and after a couple years of getting to know someone he will rub on you, just cannot pick him up. He takes time.

But he was bitten by a dog the other day as the hole is huge (and he refuses to stay inside, you can lose an arm forcing him to). But we are clawed up doing so as he has a huge puncture right net to his errr exit.

Downside he pulled a screen off tonight while I was in therapy. I had my cat who is not fixed yet and a very girl go out. I am nuts tonight about it. No damn kittens!!!

I was also led to believe I hit a wall in therapy. Basically I know all I should. I know how to implement it. Issues... Being a SAHM and no break except to vent here and pushing myself to do that. Well, I just do not have the time for self care to further myself.

My MIL spoke with me tonight and she is going to set up when her retirement kicks in in a couple weeks to take over kids during the day at times so I can work on me. I will be doing yoga, acupuncture, and time to meditate again. I am also being set up with a TCM graduate to set me up on herbs to finish getting off xanax. It will still be hard but we hope we can take he edge off and the MIL may be there to help nurse me. She has been great so may be able to cope seeing it. After two years of this to actually get off seems unreal.

It is so weird my MIL. She hugs, she cares but she really makes me feel like she does. I want so much to get close to her as she feels like a fantasy mom but it scares me so much. Why was mine not half what she is?