Hi all,
I have just been reading through a lot of the posts and I can see that there are many people in similar situations. I am extremely frustrated and almost completely exhausted of all patience with my fiancees condition. A little background information might help...

My fiancee is 23 years old and we have been together for just over a year and a half. I am 24 myself. She has had many hardships in her life for such a young age. It is very complicated but I will try to explain the best I can, in hope that someone will be able to help.

She has never had a very good home life since she was little. Her dad and mum never got a long and pretty much got forced together into a marriage after a one night stand. Her father has always been an alcholic (and always will be, despite what he thinks) and a hopeless father who was selfish and always put himself first (in one instance there was a fight between her parents about who would buy her new shoes when she was 8 years old. She did not get a new pair until 3 years later...) He has been in jail and also into drugs for most of his life, he is now 50.

Her mother is schizophrenic. She had a brain tumor removed when my fiancee was young and that has made her a very emotionless person. She almost resembles a robot. She is polite and well mannered but there is no personality and she doesn't really know how to live her life (her parents, my fiancees grandparents are very greedy and horrible people and are no help).

This is just the icing on the cake really but is a good start or I could be here forever!
My fiancees mum used to hit her and be horrible to her and was a terrible burden. She had not seen her dad in 14 years until a month ago and that has really shaken her up because he is no different but has just aged dramatically.

Basically she has had to mother her own mother since she was 10 and would basically have to do the same if she chose to spend more time with her father. Through all this she developed a speech impedament since she was around 8 years old (her mother had told her that her father died when he left them and moved away, only a little while later did she find out this was not true). The stutter still causes her great distress to this day, as it is sometimes very difficult for her in restaurants and similar public places. I have seen that not many other people are understanding to someone with a stutter as they are rude and force them to hurry up with what they are saying. This just makes it worse for her and she becomes very embarrassed and feels really small and insignificant.

We are going through a very tough time at the moment (fighting and shouting every night for the last few weeks). I am by no means making it any easier for us as I am constantly worried about the finances and the things that I don't get to do. I am aware that I can be very selfish which doesn't make it very easy for her. We have just moved to a new place (living in Australia) and I have found a very good job that I love, but she has not been working for a while. She has only worked for a few months in the time that I have known her, and this has caused us to rack up over $50,000 in credit cards, loans and other things which we are desperately struggling to pay everything off. To her, money is not important because she sometimes has suicidal tendencies and tells me that 'who cares how much money we owe? At least I'm still alive!'. I totally agree with this, but it is so hard to see the bills pile in every day. It causes us both a lot of stress but I worry about it in a very unhealthy way.

I have tried my best at helping her with her problems, but I think I could do a lot more. We have come to the decision of breaking up so many times I've forgotten, but I love her so much, and she is the most brave and true person that I've met. She always stands up for what she believes in and I admire her spirit and tenacity at the way she tackles life. I don't want to be without her, and I know I can be of more help to her but its so frustrating.

She has seen many psychiatrists and understands a lot about her condition, she is extremely intelligent (which I get so frustrated with, because if she didn't have PTSD she could be so far in her life with whatever she wants to do) but this mental illness holds her back from sticking at things long term (jobs, university) and makes it overall hard for her.

Is all I can do just hang in there? I think that I'm not a great help because sometimes I resent her for the time and pain its caused me in my own life, making me not being able to do what I want to do and I take it out on her, which I know is not fair because she did not ask for all of this.

I'm very confused and I would love to hear from anybody which could give me any advice.

Thankyou.