Well, I cannot get out of tornado alley but the FIL is principal at the highschool my son is attending about 15 miles away from here so the city shelter is right there. My MIL has talked with me so much and has been so supportive I may speak with her about it as she gets off from school early enough she takes me to the therapist appointments then hubs picks me up and then she talks with me alone when my hubs and I pick up our teen and toddler. She just grabs and hugs me and holds on. I feel like she is my my mom, or what a mom is like as mine sucked. I would be an entirely different woman if I had that for a mom but know why I have the husband I do.

She makes me feel safe and secure, know where hubs gets it. That may actually be part of it if I pull it apart. She has worked with special needs kids for so long as a passion she knows how to connect with people not in the same world as others and retires in less than 2 weeks. Hell, I might be her new cause for the sake of her son and grandkids.

Thanks, I noticed the ability to take more control too where before I was lost in the dreams. I am trying hard to take it as a good sign. It is they are just so intense, but I do not have to tell people here that. I was just so happy I had gone for some time without them I lost appreciation of how horrible they are and how vivid. I will remember to try to be more sensitive.

I just have to try to find the nerve to sleep again. I am in South Central KS next to Oklahoma so no storms right now, but I have not looked at the weather. I did see though our wind is higher than the windy city. Go figure I did not know that until I got here. Damn discovery channel...

The only other place I could bail is back in my trigger area I moved from and still tornado alley. Just not as active, but barely less. Hell, is there a place in the midwest that is not storm central? I just need to calm. Need a calm place.

Thanks hodge, the support helps more than you know as right now I feel like I am again at the beginning and relearning all over. Restarts suck.