Dear Anthony,
In regards to your post about the pefect partner, I may just be a cynic but I don't believe their is such a thing. Yes all of the things mentioned are important but perfection is just impossible (IMO). Every relationship has it's own issues, most just aren't seen on the outside... I had a mutual friend of mine and Alex's tell me recently that he wishes him and his missus had the "perfect relationship that Alex and I have". Don't get me wrong, I love Alex, but perfect relationship!!! I wish. Alex makes me laugh, he is self- reliant, he allows me my own time, he is faithful and trustworthy and loving and he's a great Dad,I find him attractive and I know he tries his hardest to do the best for me and the boys; but my god sometimes he drives me crazy. Alex and I share the same moral fibres, we agree on all the important things in life, he is my best friend and I have never loved anyone more than I love him (except my boys) and I know he loves me just as much; none of this stops the frustrations or the irritability I experience from putting up with him. This perfect partner you are describing would be perfect for about 6 months and then one day almost everything that person does will annoy you (like leaving wet towels on the floor or being busy when you need to talk) and you all know I am right. Eventually the honeymoon period is over and finished and you have to learn to deal with this "imperfect" partner. Please don't get me wrong, I hope everyone finds their perfect partner, but the reality is being perfect is a great burden, on both parties. Sorry to throw a spanner in the works. If I had to pinpoint the most important aspect of any relationship, I would say that people should stick to a personal family rule (one I grew upo with and so did Alex) never go to bed angry at each other; when you say good night to each other, say I love you and mean it, no matter what the argument.