How Will I Know

The breeze whispers this truth to me…
“You must forgive him to be free.”
I wonder, then, how will I know?
Will I forgive, or just say so?

Pretending things did not occur
Won’t lessen what I must endure.
Then what makes the forgiveness real?
Is there a difference I can feel?

How can I feel it was all ok,
And the past does not hurt this way?
I know that I must share the blame,
I did not speak, or say his name.

All I could do was turn my head.
Or try to hide beneath my bed.
Why didn’t I try to say no,
Or fight, or scream to take control?

Please tell me how I can forgive,
So I may once again just live,
To treat him like there’s no harm done,
And wait for peace that does not come.

I’m so confused and tired of life.
I need to quench this inner strife.
Dear breeze, just make it go away,
And let me try another day.



cathy