Thanks again, i'll keep working on it as best as i can...Its just so frustrating having all these things being my kind of normal for almost 10 years and now having to retrain myself and actually deal with things in a somewhat safe and productive manner, rather than a destructive unproductive way....
And as you said, i am just starting out on this and feel like im losing grip and just dont have a clue whats going on, and my thoughts are scattered beyond belief....