Oh, honey, I'm sure not going to tell you you shouldn't feel this way right now. I just wish you didn't have to. Yet, the reality is that you do have to go through those feelings, like we all do. It's so incredibly hard when it hits you like that all of a sudden, though, I know. Please keep us posted, and if you feel you can add any more to your story here or in the private forum, just keep in mind that that may help the rest of us comment more constructively. And, yeah, I think I've been able to sabotage my own sense of well-being, too. Something I try to work on a lot.

The retreat sounds like a good thing to go to. Or not. It might help you deal with this recent development. Or not. Of course, you are the best judge of whether to do that or not. You may also decide it would be better to stay home and communicate with people on the forum. It's totally up to you, since you are the best judge of what you need right now. Just try to decide what that is. Hang in there, and please let us know how you're doing, okay?