I know exactly what you're talking about. I know you said you're seeing a therapist. Have they recommended any books for you? That can help. Although maybe you haven't gotten far enough into your stuff for your therapist to recommend anything.

Please believe me, I am not trying to put any pressure on you, but, really the more we know here, the more we can try to help. I'm feeling kind of lost as to what to suggest right now.

At least I can reassure you that you are not alone in this struggle. Hang in there, it is worth healing from.