I don't think that the english language has words to express what it felt like when I saw his words on the screen. In any language what so ever.

At the same time I am feeling rather wrecked at the moment. I have no idea why it did not occur to me that this would trigger me really bad. I guess all I saw was my son. I have told my story so many times...it was like it wasn't even mine anymore (just a story...like something on Lifetime). But talking to Jonathan makes it real.