welcome, cookie! i know exactly what you mean when you say you have trouble talking about it--i'm the same way...i was just with my counsellor today and she said it was like pulling teeth...one of the worst things for me is also when they ask how i feel about something...and i just wanna scream at them I DON'T BLOODY KNOW!!!! Or I say something like, how do you THINK someone feels when they don't kno wwhether they'll survive etc...anyway, i'm starting to babble. welcome and i really hope this forum helps :)