I am in the same place you are, as far as the intimacy problem goes. I am so sorry he's breached your trust! How horrible to have that feeling in your own home.
I have gone from one extreme to another. I'm at a point now where I get really angry when I even see a love scene on TV. If my husband is with me, I create space, hide my face, feel the urge to self harm. I don't understand it anymore. There was a person that was me once who got the sex stuff, now, all I see it as is dirty: beyond it, I hate myself that way, if you get my meaning. We haven't been intimate that way since Christmas. He's a Godsend, and extremely patient. He's also remarkably clean from all those cold showers.
Please, take good care of yourself, and consider your options with your husband. Remember you are worthwhile and special. You have a right to happiness!
I hope some of this was helpful. Take good care!