that is the worst Tiana, I think I have had panic attacks my whole life as well. The cutting thing is so hard I haven't done it in awhile and I told myself I wouldn't resort to that anymore, it isn't good for me but I do want to hurt myself sometimes. I picture myself with my hand in a vise grip and I tight down on it slow breaking all the bones in my hand. I am actually afraid I might do that but it wouldn't be the end of the World, just a broken hand.