My son too has aspergers, he is 11 now. i beleive spanking would be the worst thing. i have found that time charts, really scheduled aspects of really most aspects of our lives, a timer is now my best friend........Pick your battles or you will be battling all day, being in a small group setting in school, with an EA has been wonderful. We still have good and bad days but it doesn't seem quite as frustrating. My son also has OCD, tourettes (or mild tics)anxiety and separation anxiety. Meds are also useful but it is something that I really had to accept, I am a registered nurse and one doctor said to me would you feel guilty giving him insulin for diabetes, or pain medication if he was huurting. So.We now take medication and it really has been helpful. he takes Adderoll and clonidine.
Anyway, take care. i just thought I would share a bit.
Take care.