Sometimes folks come into our lives to show us newer paths, then exit. You do not need belittling at such a sensitive time it your healing progress. What I see is that you are more mature then she, and her defenses are what causes her distance with others, I.E. attacking them.
You'll have to make choices, but I wouldn't let her berate me. If nothing else worked for me, I personally give back the persons medicine, and wait to hear ouch, then I let them know this is exactly what you have been doing to me, doesn't feel good does it?
But you have a good head on your shoulders for identifying what really is going on, keep it up.