It's been a tough time lately, but I've been working hard at it. Went fishing by myself yesterday, and had a pretty calm, enjoyable afternoon. Then on the hour long drive home I just began to get so angry at myself all I could do was rage at myself, and yell out and curse inside my truck.

I was mad at myself for letting the past affect my life. Was mad at myself for letting things that can't possibly hurt me now affect the way my future unfolds. Got mad at myself for not being strong enough, or smart enough to just move on, leave all this garbage where it belongs. As just part of life, that only has meaning if I allow it to have meaning. That sounds so easy, and it should be... I got mad at myself... Wondering if somehow I enjoy the pain, and therefore hold on to it when it should be so easy to let go of. I'm still angry about it right now, if the truth be told. I keep re-reading "The Power of Now" which is full of excellent positive messages about the importance of living in the moment, forget the past unless it specifically relates to the moment, and don't worry about the future. Live in the Now. Should be so simple. Should be...

Well, just wanted to rant a moment. Going to live in the Now, right Now. And right Now I'm going to be done ranting, and I'm going to sign off, and work on accepting my day, and making myself be at PEACE. Even if I have to slap myself around to do it.

NOW.

PEACE.

AARGHHH....