:frown: I have been having some suicidal thoughts this past week and a half...seems to be increasing as I am so stressed about my financial situation that is keeping me from what I enjoy most....being with horses...I also feel a constant low grade agitation just about continuously...every day just seems to be more pained with the consistant sense of despair....I feel like I'm holding on by my fingernails....When I hear someone talking about retirement...I sink even lower....There won't be any retirement for me...just this constant state of poverty that looks not to have any end....Somehow I have to keep hanging on till Friday...then payday....:dont-know if things are not better....I will have to call my psychodoc and see what he thinks I should do....Going to the hospital isn't going to help with getting me out of poverty....I would just come home to the same irritating mess....and talking to someone in an inpatient situation isn't going to change my predicament ..:frown:wildfirewildone