Yeah, that was kind of vague. I am female, and very strong, a take charge person. And when I date, I try to find someone as strong, though it seems impossible.
It comes down to this more or less, if two people are sleeping and they both get awoken by a noise, who gets up?
It's always me.
And it comes to play as far as if I have to protect even more people with no equal help in a partner, I feel superior, physically and mentally, and at the age of 44, I feel to grown to babysit.
I guess protection mode kicked in way to early for a person, I was three and my brother was five, and I protected him until he died of Huntington's disease at the age of 35.
When I meet someone I let them know who I am immediately, and that my flashbacks will not interfere with their life, and no they don't have to do anything, and no I won't go berserk, and yes I am fully aware of what I am going through etc. I try to be by myself anyway since I talk through it and reveal very horrific events, and don't want to let others hear such things.
I just want someone around who gets it and me, basically is what I meant.
I don't want anyone around that wants minor boo boos constantly coddled.
But as far as real terrors, I have a heart of gold for them.
I am an ego booster for others, just would like to have one around in my corner on occasions, but that means they would have to understand me, and that is a hard find.