Linda, sorry for taking so long... as you are aware, I have not been well myself. So, lets see what we have here shall we?

You feel that life has hurt you in so many ways, and is difficult most of the time for you to navigate, painful even. You are trusting within intimacy, enjoy intimacy even, though still remain cautious and sensible. You hide secrets of sexual intimacy, unpleasantries and possibly have recent issues regarding intimacy that confront you. Your support systems in your past have you feeling depreciated, unappreciated even, though you believe they are good enough to survive life itself. You hide secrets surrounding your past support systems, and likely feel more loved by friends and associates than your mother and father. You use immense effort to isolate these feelings of your past, to bury them within you. You moderately value commitment, likely don't let anyone close to you in the first place because you feel used likely from past deception surrounding commitment. Whilst you would like to believe you have no commitment towards anyone or anything else other than already in your life, your mind is telling otherwise, showing a fluttering thought towards someone or something alcoholic surrounding past commitment. You feel a victim of life, likely from male/s victimizing you. These males may be deceased or are no longer part of your life. Whilst this may not negate abuse itself, you feel the conditions necessary for you to grow big and strong emotionally were not always present. If love does not exist, then we often feel fallen from it, isolated and departed. You are pessamistic about your future, even feel it will be quite wild, thus you prepare to attack it instead of negotiate it.